Familial Life

Similar to many Asian countries, Vietnam puts great emphasis on filial piety, obedience, and loyalty. The elders are generally respected and are the "leaders", though not necessarily the dominant contributors, of the household because of their status and experience. Their role is mainly to educate their children and grandchildren and maintain the cultural and familial values. The elderly, or aging parents, expect their children to take care of them. This Vietnamese saying best summarizes it: "the young rely on their father, the elderly rely on their children" (note that this is a rough translation of the saying). The cultural values often result in multigenerational and patriarchal aspects of a Vietnamese family.

Unfortunately, because of political, economical, and social changes--which all affect each other in some ways--, the trend of extended families or multigenerational households is decreasing. There is an increasing number of nuclear families, which typically include the parents and children. With the focus on making money and caring for their children, the parents do not have time to care for their own parents. Because of this, the elders often live by themselves, with many moving back to the rural areas where resources are limited and far away. Separation and loneliness bring about other psychological disturbances that affect their quality of life. Even if the elders are lucky to be able to live with their children and their children, they feel the obligations to teach their grandchildren. Nevertheless, the changing society poses such difficulties. Without proper parental supervision and with negatively influential friends, these kids can sway into doing drugs and engaging in violence. This only brings about greater burden for the Vietnamese elders and stress them further as they age. It also contributes to anxiety and stress in the parents, struggling between caring for their children and making money to support their daily living.

This is an important social aspect of aging in Vietnam because the family is very important to the people. For many of the elderly, their lives have been and are still guided by the traditional customs and values, but changes are happening everyday that require them to adjust. Elders have a lot of pressure and stress dealing with such things that require them to be more open-minded. Such external and internal struggles bring about emotional responses and contribute to unhappiness, unless they can adapt well-enough without feeling like they are forced to change who they are and who they've been.

Sources: Beyond Boundaries, Culture and Customs of Vietnam